How To Be Nice When You Don't Feel Like It

1. Ask questions to understand the other person’s position

2. Help them

           

            Bang, slam, rattle-rattle-rattle. What the _____ are they doing out there?

It’s 8 AM in my, usually quiet in the morning, apartment building. Commotion shatters the silence – over 20 slams and bangs. I can’t believe people are so inconsiderate. This isn’t a barnyard with animals living in here (well, yes, maybe sometimes it seems that way).

            After an hour of the same I strolled out into the hallway (strolled only because I had been praying for the past hour). Then I questioned the maintenance man:

            Is there any reason all the doors are slamming this morning?

            He’s so nice. You don’t live in a single house, you know. Just wait 'til they start putting in the new elevator. Then it will be noisy.

            Really, now, I get it, but what’s with the loud slamming this morning?

            The workmen were here to fix your neighbor’s apartment.

            Do they have to slam 3 doors every time they come in and out?

            After a little demonstration from me about how loud it was, we both figured it out. The workmen don’t have a pass key for the outside door, so maintenance leaves it open while they carry in their stuff. That creates a breezeway and doors which normally close slowly, now slam, and rattle.

            Two days later another crew came. The same happened, except this time I went out to hold one of the doors for a young fellow heavily laden with a room-sized carpet.

            Gracias.

            Yes, thank you Lord. So much easier to try to understand and be nice than yell at him and get myself upset. Maybe I’ll have to try that again sometime - figure out the other person’s dilemma and help instead of holler at them. This won’t come easy since I’m usually the yell now, ask questions later type of person.

            What do you think? Did this strategy ever work for you? Or not? Tell me about it.